Chapter Three : Your Friends can Make or Mar You - By Ikechi Chimuanya Emmanuel



The influence and role of friends in our individual lives cannot be undervalued. It is sacrosanct to carefully choose the company we keep. Your friends have the power to make you or destroy you. It is better to be alone than in a wrong company.

You can’t be clamoring for success and yet you are around those who care less about being successful. An adage says “iron sharpens iron” and “birds of similar feather flocks together.

I’m not particularly against keeping friends. No, but what am postulating is that your choice of friends should adequately be evaluated as to the significant effect and influence of such a friend to your life. Do you have similar goals? What are they having you talk most of the time? What kind of discussion are you always in with them. Are you involved in a dialectic discussion or are they always on the abstract. Even the bible admonishes us to associate with the wise if we want to be wise (proverbs 13vs. 20). During my days in the higher citadel of learning, I surrounded myself with friends of synonymous view, and I can say without equivocation that my friends contributed hugely to my academic success. I can reminisce how we do go to night classes together, we interact and ask each other questions after about two (2) hours silent  moment of reading. Most times, I do meet with my friends for clarification on any subject matter that seems to king over me.

Read CHAPTER 2- FEAR OF FAILURE, THE GREATEST ENEMY OF SUCCESS- By Ikechi Chimanaya Emmanuel

I am taking time to narrate my personal experience so as to drive home my point. OPRAH WINFREY advices “surround yourself with people that will lift you higher”. If your friends aren’t helping you grow then why stick to them. You can never grow in the wrong company. The less you associate with people, the more your life will improve. Be careful with your choice of company. An adage says “show me your friends and I will tell who you are”. Meaning you can’t be anything other than the company you keep. Don’t neglect the role and impact of friends in our lives. Good friends will impact positively while the wrong association will impact negatively. Be careful of whom you share your plans and ideas with, or such plan or idea will be eliminated or perhaps murdered before your very eyes.

Some people are negative thinking experts. Such people never see possibility in anything. Insulate from such company because negativity is contagious. If your friends are not helping your spiritual, physical and financial well being, then obviously you are in the wrong company. Many great talents have been neglected as a result of advice from friends. In taking decision, be careful who you seek advice from.


Consider the advice of Edwin Paston “be careful of the books you read, as of the company you keep. For your habits and character will be as much influenced by the former as the later”.


The holy book advices in 1 Corinthian 15 vs. 33 “do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good manners”.


Our friends are essential parts of our lives; we have to be careful while choosing the company we keep. Examine the friends you keep today and take a few minutes to reflect on their impact in your life. If you are not comfortable with your findings, then it’s not late to decide and insulate from such friends. While reflecting, also take time to ask yourself the kind of friend you have been to others. Have you been a good or bad influence? How have you contributed in making sure your friends excel? Like terms attract, to be in the right company, you have to be a good friend as well. Work on becoming a good friend then the right company will find you.  REMEMBER: “your friends can make you and they can also destroy you”.

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